Having Children


Children or no children that’s the real question. There I said it!

Yes you love each other and there is a time when couples ask, should we talk about having children now, maybe you just found out you are pregnant or you just had a child and wonder if you are going to be a good parent.

No one can answer that question for you. Unfortunately there is no parenting certificate that can certify that you will be a good parent and no license issued by the state, but one thing is for sure, it is a learning experience like none other.

Making a choice to share your life, income, future and personal space with another little person is usually not what comes to mind when deciding to have children; most do not consider cost and few contemplate inconvenience in the equation.

Good news though, you will live, your parents and ancestors all did, you are living proof. I insist that although some very close-minded selfish people have regretted having children instead of spending that effort on their career, that more often what is heard is women and men past their prime reflecting on their fruitless lives without children, wondering if their life could have meant more.

Having children is a life time commitment that changes as both you and child grow, transforming seamlessly from caregiver/teacher/guardian to later pier/ friend/ support.

So many parenting magazines, books, and videos and so little time to educate yourself. By the time you feel you are knowledgeable enough on all the new parenting techniques and almost college like psychology classes needed to be confidant enough to raise a child. Your children will be having children of their own.

I am not suggesting that you not take parenting classes or read a book, but what I am saying is do not loose sight of the real reason you had decided to bear children in the first place…

Love, unconditional and never regretting, this little example of you is learning to be an individual that you help to mold, imprinting on you and your culture, heritage, traditions and ways of life.

One day they will be doing the same thing you are doing now. Questioning if they are ready to be parents and are they prepared for the challenge ahead.