Wife swap

Wife swap is a saying played upon in a reality tv show depicting families that exchange wife/mom for a few weeks to help those families and mom appreciate what they have and seeing their mistakes even change their ways .

The real meaning of wife swap is of a more sexual nature. In the 70’s the word was “Swingers”. One couple would exchange lovers or spouses for a night of fun in the bedroom with another couple and then go about their normal married lives after.

Swinging has been viewed as a way to fight the hum drums and boredom that being monogamous tends to bring. but more then that, wife swapping is a tool to keep couples together when there is problems in the bedroom. Separate from emotions, some couples view a physical monogamy less important then the emotional loyalty.

Cheating happens, especially now a days with sex being forced on us in advertising, tv, even just walking down the street we are attacked with sexuality. It is impossible to believe that you or your spouse is a supper hero, capable of fending off all invaders, even more so this fact when one or both are dissatisfied with their sex life at home.

Yeah Yeah, this may not be the answer to better your satisfaction with your significant others but it does work for many. The word cheating is described as a lie.. so don’t lie, tell the truth.

The positive on swapping are many, relieving monotonous sexual tensions , creates a safe escape from the norm, teaching different sexual techniques, an added share of intimacy, and comparisons   

Being new at this kind of life style, you might want to really do some research, talk to others in forums and chats. Talk to other swingers to get an idea from them what works and how they choose to deal with tough moments. I really think that is in your best interest to join a dating site and really investigate your own feelings on weather this is what you want because once you ask your partner to swap…

well those words can get you in the “hot seat” this conversation needs confidence and sureness, knowledge to convince. There are several site that you may not be aware of  that you can join (with like minded individuals and couple)  like match.com, Sally Madison, Chemistry.com all are wonderful, reliable plus discrete.

Regardless of what other couples use and what works for them… You are original in your relationship and only you and your lover will know what will work best for you. make rules and make sure bounders are well marked, here are a few.

*there is no room for jealousy

*there can never be peer pressure. it must be equally agreed upon.

*this is a shared experience

*when the experience ends so does the ties with the other couple or helpful individual

* if there is hurt feelings (express them opening)

*discretion (the neighbors WILL NOT UNDERSTAND)

The thoughts expressed by swingers is that their relationship is strong enough to understand each others needs and wants physically and that the emotional ties between one another is not effected negatively by the physical infidelity, but rather becomes stronger knowing that they share this experience of pleasure. Normally these couples have a higher sense of emotional fidelity.

In no way is this expressing to each other that they are lacking in anyway. In fact most cases of wife swapping is surprisingly the opposite, where a man being so proud of what he has, that he feels a need to “show it off” and a woman that loves her man so much that she wants him to experiences the ultimate notty joy, even watch as he does.

We all have likes and dislikes even fantasies that need to be real to be content, or fantasies that need merely be discussed and then dismissed. Here are my suggestions to both the one initiating the conversation and the one that has been asked to experience swap

Asking to be involved in a wife swap: Understand that this conversation can be the beginning of a great and wonderful world that you and your partner can share together or the end of your relationship. Not only is this a high stakes gamble to start with, the idea that your lover may see this as an insult that can never be made up for or forgotten.

Understand that you might be creating a monster.. they might like it better then their currant relationship with you. So make sure before suggesting  this shared swap that your relationship with your partner is open and emotionally sound.

The person that has been asked to “be swapped”: This is not an insult, this is not telling you that you are bad in bed or that you are not the person that they love, respect and are committed to. The act of being asked this question alone is a compliment and needs to be seen as a show of their comfort, security, and trust in you to share this knowledge of fantasy.

In the same respects there is no room for jealousy or regret. You have to be open and express not just your pain but your concerns… remember the “what if” factor and that includes what if you don’t like it? will your partner see it as rejection if you say that you don’t want to or after the fact that you are not interested in doing it again?

The problem with opening up to someone your deepest darkest secret is that they may judge you. and the very first conversation that needs to be made is that “this has nothing to do with my love for you or my desire to spend our lives together. This is just something I would like for us as a couple to look into and see if it fits our life style”

The question needs to be asked yourself, Is this a reflection of your emotional satisfaction with your spouse? Are you wanting to do this as an outlet for freedom? Understand your own reasons why you do this. And when you are sure that you are wanting to wife swap to truly make your relationship a happier place…. then proceed.

I love writing blogs that inspire and make you think, especially when I get feed back, but in all actuality the fact that you keep coming back to learn more is reward enough. But please remember I do tarot readings to, so when you want to know more about issues in your life or in the need of direction make sure and go to http://www.psychictarotreadings.net/

here is another blog on this subject that i think is great (check out another blogger’s work)

Cheating Spouse Signs and How to Catch a Cheating Husband or Wife

catch cheating spouseNumber one topic asked to psychics has to do with love. I guess because that seems to be one of the few things that individual’s feel they have no control over.

I am often asked to read someone’s cards and they wish to know if their husband or wife or partner is cheating. As much as I would like to dash their fears more times than not the cards will say yes they are.

Why? “ Because you asked”. Confused? Let me explain.

When an individual comes to me and asks if their spouse is cheating, they already had questions in their mind to begin with. They saw the signs of an affair; they knew even subconsciously that it was happening.

We all have a sixth sense, some stronger than others and even more important some have the experience of knowing what that “feeling” is when sometime isn’t quiet right.

The knowledge of knowing when is a good time to listen to the sixth sense or intuition and following that gut instinct is the difference between a fearless leader and a follower.

My advice is given as a reminder that even though they feel something is happening it is not always so, but most of the reason you come to me is not to actually know whether your spouse is cheating but to get a kind of proof and way to tell yourself you are not crazy.

And although the cards may say yes, they are being cheated on, and may even go into detail as to how long I have been cheated on.

The real test begins with – How do I catch a cheating husband or a cheating wife? It used to be that adultery was against the law in the US, now it is only in New York and then it has to be admitted or proven through pictures or video.

No the real thing broken in infidelity is not the law but trust and for most people that crime is worth punishing.

I suggest to some of my clients signs of an affair. Here are a few:get proof of cheating partner

  • Do they look you in the eye anymore? (Embarrassed of their behavior and feel ashamed)
  • Do they stay out longer then usual? (Depending on the time either actually cheating or making calls to the other)
  • Doesn’t leave cell phone out to be looked at? Has it on vibrate or off when home? (So you can not see the calls coming in or read out going calls)
  • Nothing seems to get done around the house when left home alone? (Perhaps not really staying home)
  • Secretive of e-mail ID and password, closes computer when you walk up? (Talking with the other)
  • Do they go through a cycle of arguments, usually argues right before weekend or before going out with friends? (For them to justify undesirable behavior)
  • Do they wear cologne to go to the hardware store? (Don’t laugh it does happen)
  • Bath almost as soon as coming home, or decide to do laundry?

“Now, for the fun part.”  Let me help you get that proof of infidelity, but before we begin, make sure you know what you will do when you do get what you are looking for.

  • *Buy a cell phone just like your spouses and open the battery, with a screw driver or knife break one of the battery wires the attach to the inter workings of the phone. Dead phone that will have no charge can not be used. You keep their phone safe and note all incoming calls for a day. They get the broken phone, thinking they will charge it later.
  • *Phone taps can be bought at any radio shack along with a tape recorder that plugs into your land line phone andstarts to record only when the phone is in use. Heck there is even good software that does the job for you.
  • *Redial on the phone after being gone all day
  • *While your spouse is on the computer do something to create a controlled emergency so that the computer is left without being closed. Unscrew a water line under a sink, burn food and make fire alarm go off, you get the idea.
  • *Change cars with a friend and follow your spouse. Wear a hat.
  • *Don’t get in trouble at work but call home more often but make sure you have thought of good questions to ask also good for calling them at work too.
  • *Ask for a day off or say you are going to be gone all day then return home to get something or stop in to say you missed them.

Remember that all of these are good ways to catch a cheating husband or cheating girlfriend but ask yourself what if this is all in your mind; be sure YOU are not caught.

HERE IS AN ADDED BONUS I was told by one of my clients  a trick that worked GREAT for them. In amazon a transmitter collar which is the smallest device I have found so far it can be detached from the collar and sewn into a favorite coat or under the mat of a car and never be noticed. greatest way to track your love and see where they are going! I linked the word BONUS for your convenience so click and buy.

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Cheating Spouse – Forgiving Infidelity

cheating spouse-relationship adviceThe issue of a cheating spouse is a difficult one shear because of the emotions involved, the answers are neither easy to accept or give.. It is a maze of he said she said and in most cases years of repetitive warnings that went unrecognized or unaddressed. That’s even if you have proof.

I am the first to suggest a councilor, get a private investigator, consult a reliable psychic for direction and pull on your family and friends for support.

After all is said and done it is not about how having an affair came to be, but how you will react to this situation now that it has arisen.

So many people have advice on the subject and it is impossible to say that it is cut and dry but I will give you a clear simple equation to work your way through the bull and deal with the real issues.

1. Start by making a list, write down the pros and cons of your relationship ask yourself the real questions. Has this happened before? Is this the only issue we have? And would you have been happy in your relationship if this had never happened?

Many people are too emotional to be rational and that is to be expected; but without taking control, you will find yourself either enabling the cheater to continue or you will find yourself lashing out in retaliation. Lists help you see on paper what the real problems are.

2. Do not make rash decisions, give yourself time to adjust and process the shock, now would be a good time to separate you from the problem. Quiet contemplation and a chance to feel what it would be like to be alone, or feel the freedom and see you can live without them.

3. You can not just ignore and it will go away. After you have taken account, absorbed it, and weighed some real options it is time to address. No matter if you do feel hurt or betrayed remember that the person you are talking to is still the same person you fell in love with.

You need to see them for what they really are – “Lost” . Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to be the one to adjust your life and help them through this. This is their path and their travel, you would be doing them a disfavor to openly forgive and forget.

There are real reasons for infidelity, and once a cheater usually always a cheater. But once the accused is proven guilty it really is up to them to decide to change or embrace their crime.

The Liar….Not only to you but also to them selves by committing the act and by thinking that they loved you enough to be with only you.

Innocent Victim….A victim of their own libido and incapable of self restraint, this one can not stop and usually is the one that repeatedly cheats.

The Fallen Angel.…A momentary loss of morals due to outside influences, lack of attention, stress at work and seduction.

The Follower…. Being sucked into the American dream of self satisfaction, this one has a real personality flaw that can not be fixed.

Forgetful Love….For one reason or another they have lost their original goal of faithfulness that they committed in the beginning of your marriage. This is the most used excuse and weakest. The out of site out of mind theory is NOT ACCEPTABLE. “You remembered your vows”

Now that you have evaluated your relationship, weighed your option, and diagnosed the disease. It is time to make the real decisions. What are you willing to give up? (Your dignity for comfort) (Your sanity for security) (Your time gambled for hope) (Family for personal satisfaction)

There is always a chance that it may never happen again but there has to be a price paid and your mate is aware of that and will consider themselves lucky to be given a second chance.

I guarantee you that if you openly forgive and forget without showing your insignificant other that they almost, almost lost you for good, there will be repeats. But forgiveness is something that comes only because you choose to release the weight on your heart not as a gift to an individual that you trusted and deceived you.

What’s YOUR relationship advice on the issue of cheating spouse ?

If you feel that your lover is cheating and need a second opinion, click onto the (Psychic reading) tab and follow the props, I can do a reading telling you what is really happening, or ways you can catch them