Wife swap is a saying played upon in a reality tv show depicting families that exchange wife/mom for a few weeks to help those families and mom appreciate what they have and seeing their mistakes even change their ways .
The real meaning of wife swap is of a more sexual nature. In the 70’s the word was “Swingers”. One couple would exchange lovers or spouses for a night of fun in the bedroom with another couple and then go about their normal married lives after.
Swinging has been viewed as a way to fight the hum drums and boredom that being monogamous tends to bring. but more then that, wife swapping is a tool to keep couples together when there is problems in the bedroom. Separate from emotions, some couples view a physical monogamy less important then the emotional loyalty.
Cheating happens, especially now a days with sex being forced on us in advertising, tv, even just walking down the street we are attacked with sexuality. It is impossible to believe that you or your spouse is a supper hero, capable of fending off all invaders, even more so this fact when one or both are dissatisfied with their sex life at home.
Yeah Yeah, this may not be the answer to better your satisfaction with your significant others but it does work for many. The word cheating is described as a lie.. so don’t lie, tell the truth.
Being new at this kind of life style, you might want to really do some research, talk to others in forums and chats. Talk to other swingers to get an idea from them what works and how they choose to deal with tough moments. I really think that is in your best interest to join a dating site and really investigate your own feelings on weather this is what you want because once you ask your partner to swap…
well those words can get you in the “hot seat” this conversation needs confidence and sureness, knowledge to convince. There are several site that you may not be aware of that you can join (with like minded individuals and couple) like match.com, Sally Madison, Chemistry.com all are wonderful, reliable plus discrete.
Regardless of what other couples use and what works for them… You are original in your relationship and only you and your lover will know what will work best for you. make rules and make sure bounders are well marked, here are a few.
*there is no room for jealousy
*there can never be peer pressure. it must be equally agreed upon.
*this is a shared experience
*when the experience ends so does the ties with the other couple or helpful individual
* if there is hurt feelings (express them opening)
*discretion (the neighbors WILL NOT UNDERSTAND)
The thoughts expressed by swingers is that their relationship is strong enough to understand each others needs and wants physically and that the emotional ties between one another is not effected negatively by the physical infidelity, but rather becomes stronger knowing that they share this experience of pleasure. Normally these couples have a higher sense of emotional fidelity.
In no way is this expressing to each other that they are lacking in anyway. In fact most cases of wife swapping is surprisingly the opposite, where a man being so proud of what he has, that he feels a need to “show it off” and a woman that loves her man so much that she wants him to experiences the ultimate notty joy, even watch as he does.
We all have likes and dislikes even fantasies that need to be real to be content, or fantasies that need merely be discussed and then dismissed. Here are my suggestions to both the one initiating the conversation and the one that has been asked to experience swap
Asking to be involved in a wife swap: Understand that this conversation can be the beginning of a great and wonderful world that you and your partner can share together or the end of your relationship. Not only is this a high stakes gamble to start with, the idea that your lover may see this as an insult that can never be made up for or forgotten.
Understand that you might be creating a monster.. they might like it better then their currant relationship with you. So make sure before suggesting this shared swap that your relationship with your partner is open and emotionally sound.
The person that has been asked to “be swapped”: This is not an insult, this is not telling you that you are bad in bed or that you are not the person that they love, respect and are committed to. The act of being asked this question alone is a compliment and needs to be seen as a show of their comfort, security, and trust in you to share this knowledge of fantasy.
In the same respects there is no room for jealousy or regret. You have to be open and express not just your pain but your concerns… remember the “what if” factor and that includes what if you don’t like it? will your partner see it as rejection if you say that you don’t want to or after the fact that you are not interested in doing it again?
The problem with opening up to someone your deepest darkest secret is that they may judge you. and the very first conversation that needs to be made is that “this has nothing to do with my love for you or my desire to spend our lives together. This is just something I would like for us as a couple to look into and see if it fits our life style”
The question needs to be asked yourself, Is this a reflection of your emotional satisfaction with your spouse? Are you wanting to do this as an outlet for freedom? Understand your own reasons why you do this. And when you are sure that you are wanting to wife swap to truly make your relationship a happier place…. then proceed.
I love writing blogs that inspire and make you think, especially when I get feed back, but in all actuality the fact that you keep coming back to learn more is reward enough. But please remember I do tarot readings to, so when you want to know more about issues in your life or in the need of direction make sure and go to http://www.psychictarotreadings.net/
here is another blog on this subject that i think is great (check out another blogger’s work)