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Cheating Spouse – Forgiving Infidelity

1 August 2009 One Comment

cheating spouse-relationship adviceThe issue of a cheating spouse is a difficult one shear because of the emotions involved, the answers are neither easy to accept or give.. It is a maze of he said she said and in most cases years of repetitive warnings that went unrecognized or unaddressed. That’s even if you have proof.

I am the first to suggest a councilor, get a private investigator, consult a reliable psychic for direction and pull on your family and friends for support.

After all is said and done it is not about how having an affair came to be, but how you will react to this situation now that it has arisen.

So many people have advice on the subject and it is impossible to say that it is cut and dry but I will give you a clear simple equation to work your way through the bull and deal with the real issues.

1. Start by making a list, write down the pros and cons of your relationship ask yourself the real questions. Has this happened before? Is this the only issue we have? And would you have been happy in your relationship if this had never happened?

Many people are too emotional to be rational and that is to be expected; but without taking control, you will find yourself either enabling the cheater to continue or you will find yourself lashing out in retaliation. Lists help you see on paper what the real problems are.

2. Do not make rash decisions, give yourself time to adjust and process the shock, now would be a good time to separate you from the problem. Quiet contemplation and a chance to feel what it would be like to be alone, or feel the freedom and see you can live without them.

3. You can not just ignore and it will go away. After you have taken account, absorbed it, and weighed some real options it is time to address. No matter if you do feel hurt or betrayed remember that the person you are talking to is still the same person you fell in love with.

You need to see them for what they really are – “Lost” . Now, that doesn’t mean that you have to be the one to adjust your life and help them through this. This is their path and their travel, you would be doing them a disfavor to openly forgive and forget.

There are real reasons for infidelity, and once a cheater usually always a cheater. But once the accused is proven guilty it really is up to them to decide to change or embrace their crime.

The Liar….Not only to you but also to them selves by committing the act and by thinking that they loved you enough to be with only you.

Innocent Victim….A victim of their own libido and incapable of self restraint, this one can not stop and usually is the one that repeatedly cheats.

The Fallen Angel.…A momentary loss of morals due to outside influences, lack of attention, stress at work and seduction.

The Follower…. Being sucked into the American dream of self satisfaction, this one has a real personality flaw that can not be fixed.

Forgetful Love….For one reason or another they have lost their original goal of faithfulness that they committed in the beginning of your marriage. This is the most used excuse and weakest. The out of site out of mind theory is NOT ACCEPTABLE. “You remembered your vows”

Now that you have evaluated your relationship, weighed your option, and diagnosed the disease. It is time to make the real decisions. What are you willing to give up? (Your dignity for comfort) (Your sanity for security) (Your time gambled for hope) (Family for personal satisfaction)

There is always a chance that it may never happen again but there has to be a price paid and your mate is aware of that and will consider themselves lucky to be given a second chance.

I guarantee you that if you openly forgive and forget without showing your insignificant other that they almost, almost lost you for good, there will be repeats. But forgiveness is something that comes only because you choose to release the weight on your heart not as a gift to an individual that you trusted and deceived you.

What’s YOUR relationship advice on the issue of cheating spouse ?

If you feel that your lover is cheating and need a second opinion, click onto the (Psychic reading) tab and follow the props, I can do a reading telling you what is really happening, or ways you can catch them

One Comment »

  • Jerry Libido said:

    With more than 50, – - Canadians appear to be becoming more relaxed in their attitudes toward monogamous marriage.