Mothers

The life of a Mother feels like balancing on a circus ball. We are subject to maintaining others schedules without much concern of our own. I do not know how many times I had forgotten to eat, wondered if I had even remembered to brush my teeth? Or bath?…. My point is that we spend so much time on the balancing act that we forget the world around us.

If you are anything at all like me your days are booked up for the season, soccer practices, getting the car serviced, parent teacher meetings, Dr. appointments and not to mention your husband’s gatherings for his work. I also push the envelope a bit more and stuff in my own school and a second job of 30 to 40 hours a week.

We are the house maids, nurse maids and our husbands french maids. We are the unpaid taxi and teachers, we are so many things and in the end…. Moms are everyones friend.

With a 2 year old and 12 year old twins I try to make the time spent at home at least memorable and sometimes the house work gets long forgotten to do that. I am not afraid to say that I prioritize my life to help pull off this balancing trick. Laundry and dishes tend to lose every time and more often than not cold sandwich night is a weekly thing and take out although less healthy it is less stressful.

I never claimed to be a perfect mom, Lord knows I am far from Martha Stewart but I am pretty successful at the circus ring we call life. I always seem to manage time to meditate in the mornings and evening. I always check my mails on my breaks and talk with friends now and again. So this is not an impossible thing. But It is a mother’s special gift to juggle all that life expects from us… being mothers, well that is the greatness of this show….

How to be a Good Mother

Am I a good mother?

I wish it was as easy of an answer as it is a question, we all wonder if we did a good job or if we were a failure at raising our children but the fact of the matter is………………

Everything happens for a reason. When you first decided to be a parent you took on a certain amount of responsibility but you did not accept all of the responsibility.

Just like we are to make decisions and be accountable for our mistakes so are our children, the best we can do to prepare these little individuals is to detour bad decisions and be the best example for our kids.

Sometimes we were not the best example; sometimes we lived by the “do as I say not as I do” principle and for others of us we may have done all the wrong things at all the wrong times in our children’s lives. I assure you even at these times we are not (failing) at motherhood and here is why.

As spirits in heaven we are given a choice of what parents to take. We are also aware of what lessons were expected of us to pass. The choices that these fetal spirits make are the right choice, being aware of the struggles that need to be gone through.

(Example: some spirits are told that they need to deal with abandonment issues and in that case they would not pick “perfect parents” that will always be there for them.)

In the same respect as a Parent you are also set to pass tests. We are learning as we go, there is no license granted to say you are a good mother or a diploma that says you have the answers to all parental issues. It is one of the few responsibilities in life in which lives are placed in the hands of novice.

There will be broken bones, broken spirits and broken hearts. It is the price of learning and glory of living and the basis of life “learning from our mistakes” and in the end after being un-appreciated and forgotten; you may get the occasional “Thank you, I understand now why you did the things you did.”

Just like on other placements in life we are not always rewarded for the good things we do. but the reward comes latter and one of those rewards is knowing that our children have learned from us and that they are on their way to their goals like being a great Mother or Father themselves.

Now would be a good time to take into account what your mother has done for you: Mistakes or Encouragement. Thank her for her Efforts. You are her Success.

I love writing blogs that inspire and make you think, especially when I get feed back, but in all actuality the fact that you keep coming back to learn more is reward enough. But please remember I do tarot readings to, so when you want to know more about issues in your life or in the need of direction make sure and go to http://www.psychictarotreadings.net/

The Children are our future

When our parents were raising us they pretty much were flying blind. No one knew the adverse effects of different parenting styles. spoil them, whip them, time out, redirect, reinforce just touched on what they were testing on us.

Some of us were raised just like our parents before us “well, it didn’t kill me” but as we look at our options today, as we look into our future and what we had to overcome to get here. It just seems like a lot of not needed work, when all we needed was to be nudged in the right direction. Don’t be afraid of getting educational material

I see a influx of parents seeing the mistakes of their parents and compensating by demanding their childhood not be repeated in their offspring. My parents were to busy struggling to live their lives to worry about what i was going to do in 20 years. They had no clue what was a college choice fund or child investment planning. But we know better don’t we.

Oh don’t worry this is not a financial investment blog. I am a big believer in you do what you can to save when you can. I want more to talk about what we can do for our children to make them a better emotional base for their future. I know the key to guaranteeing a great future for you children. Are you ready?

It is called communication! yeah yeah I know you have heard it too many times before “talk to your kids” but i will go farther and tell you what to talk about and when. or what not to talk about. I speak with my sons constantly but some kids focus more on example. When my oldest son was younger I was a volunteer freak. Shelters, humane society, elderly in nursing homes and in our neighborhood, even his school PTA.

As  a result I have created a very caring and supportive young man that has respect for all people no matter their situation.  He is the first to pitch in to help, he is the one people call when they need help moving or a shoulder to cry one. He is there for his employer and co-workers and knows that it is more then a job it is a responsibility to be, because people need him.

10 years after I had my oldest son I became pregnant with the twins so seeing what I was creating in my oldest I took it a step farther and with the same volunteer spirit I pushed education, I went back to school and I enjoyed the hard work and friendly atmosphere so I speak to my children about it.

They were emerged in the college experience early. We took trips to other universities and at least once a month I take one or both to my campus for a day. I make the idea of an education fun and in the process they look forward to their school and their education.

I really don’t have the means to raise them, go to college and still think I can pay for their education but looks as though I may not need to (my twins are straight A students) and it is not from me fussing daily “do your home work”  or grounding them for bad grades… they do it because “they want to”

With the future of education being what it is, tuition is going up and they say by the time my twins reach college years the price of one semester will be equal to the price of a four years stint now. I see the demand for a continued education to survive these days.

Slowly but surely we see the lines being made. If you want a good life and future you go to college, get involved, raise your credit score, even loose weight. Employers are finding it harder and harder to weed though applications, when there are so many well qualified candidates. And if this is the case now, what will it be 10 years from now, 20 years from now?

Talk to you children, not just “Boy you need to go to college!” but use some educational psychology,speak to them in a way they can understand. Take them to a Fast food restaurant and show them the junkiest beat up car on the lot “that is a managers car”

Take him to a Dr office and show them the newest model “with work and preparation comes reward”  if they are old enough for math have them calculate the difference in wages.  Talk about it daily! Everything has a comparison (buying shoes, toys, and many others)

Introduce the children to technology, don’t be afraid of using games and computers as a reward. use technology in moderation but our children need to be able to navigate in the future; computers, cellphones and games are our worlds.

This does not just stop at education.. You can use the same method with relationships, house work,  personal hygiene or organization. and really talk “with” them, allowing them to voice their opinion and concerns. The only difference between your child and street children is (YOU) our children our future

I love writing blogs that inspire and make you think, especially when I get feed back, but in all actuality the fact that you keep coming back to learn more is reward enough. But please remember I do tarot readings to, so when you want to know more about issues in your life or in the need of direction make sure and go to http://www.psychictarotreadings.net/

ADHD: attention deficit hyperactive disorder

Anyone that has lively children have asked the question “Is my child Hyper?” especially after a caffeine soda or a sugar fix. But there are other reasons children react, here are some reasons I have found children have what I call “Moments”

1) effects of caffeine: this very normal physical reaction to caffeine does the same as adult drinking too much coffee, caffeine is found in most colas, chocolate and like products.  The body maybe the start of the reaction but on a deeper psychological level a lot of the long lasting effect is your reaction to a fit or their hyperness, rewarding bad behavior will just ensure more behavior later when they are not under the influence of the toxin.

2) food allergies: the child’s body is receiving messages daily every moment at lightening speed, taking in information and learning at levels that we as adults are numb to. So when something is amiss their whole world is effected. (example) if you are walking down the street with a million things on your mind as to what you are doing, why, when who expects what? You might have those thoughts and actions under control… but experience that same action with a small pebble in your shoe. Where will your mind be, how will you react to others? A child’s system is effected in that same way when they are not feeling well.

3) Problems at home or school: Not being on a schedule, not feeling safe, stress,  are not just worries that adults have, a child that is subjected to one or more of these can be effected also, and much like you might react to them a child is no different, depression and anger most likely mimic a hyper active behavior.

4) Frontal Lobe Brain Tumor: First understanding what ADHD is will help in understanding why a tumor in the frontal lobe might effect someone in the same ways, ADHD is the slower brain activity in the frontal lobe… the part of the brain that controls emotion, control and empathy, with this part of the brain not working at optimal levels, it kind of leaves a child on “basic mode” almost primal behavior with little upper level thought. Ritalin and like drugs speed up the brain and help the frontal lobe work a bit more normally. Frontal lobe damage, tumors and trauma has the same effect on the personality.
5) High Lead levels in the child: lead paint in old houses, toys and water have an effect similar as ADHD, creating a learning disabilities in children and low attention span. Lean finds it way into your child from the dirt, old paint and water/pipes. Getting your child checked is usually done with request of  state or city agency, but if your child has high lead levels there is no reason to worry, the same agencies with also test your water, land and house for lead and make sure you can remove the risk from the child. And by the way, Milk helps by absorbing and releasing the lead.

No matter the reaction or disorder your child is your child, learning and experiencing life with your supervision. Understanding weather they are doing this the easy way or the hard way does not make them any less your child, it just makes you a more involved and caring parent. And no mater the difficulty they may have, even a extremely hyper child can live a productive, and exciting life, with little difficulty from their disorder but I can not say the same for a mentally, and physically damaged child that is neither understood or valued. How you react to the child is the most important factor in weather a hyperactive child is successful in life.

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Why cloning is a psychic moral issue

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Most would say cloning has nothing to do with the art of psychics. But look again, this is not just a religious issue keeping the government in check and holding the scientists at bay, no this is a human issue at the roots of creation and the soul.

Does that cloned person have a soul? Or will the cloned person be soulless and hollow? Perhaps the cloned human will be able to answer all the questions that science has, for the act of creation.

Let’s look at the “Dolly the cloned sheep” It is a great show of science ability to create out of a single cell and embryo a living breathing replica of a sheep. But they did make just a few mistakes that posse some real questions that science is not willing to discus.

Dolly has a short life expectancy. It is do to the fact that she has shorter connectors to the cells much like an older sheep (Like the one she was cloned from) the cell had memory; it knew it was supposed to be an older sheep. It is already proven that other cells in the body know what they are supposed to be. Even cancer cells know they are cancer.

But what else does that cell know, remember. We are taught in spiritualism that every cell in the body is you. Every single cell is part of your soul, there for every cell has soul. We have to ask what else we are recreating when we clone a cell. Will that cloned human remember the things that the parent remembers and in that way BE THE PARENT?

Identical twins have a “psychic connection” that normal siblings have due to there similarities and blood.  Science in all of there faithless “knowledge” would say it is the way they are raised but ask any parent of twins it is impossible to treat two children even twins that same. It is deeper then upbringing it is “metaphysical”

If a heart transplant recipient can start to crave the things that the donor of that heart used to like, or want to start to do things that the donor used to love to do, even find the people in the donors life familiar, then perhaps all will be answered that day that science take that next step and clones a speaking, feeling human that can in turn tell us all the secrets.

Accepting the Adoption Process

starts with knowing it was meant to be..

You have a good life, settled and centered but still you feel like you are missing something?

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You look around at your friends and their families and see that perhaps your own family is smaller then what it could be. Whether you and your spouse have no children or have 10, the fact that your love can never be divided among a family but the family multiplies the love is a universal feeling world wide.

You are a well spring of love, knowledge, and you are willing to share it. Maybe adoption is a good answer.

So once you have decided that adoption is a real possibility there are strict guidelines for adoption agencies to follow. Most of your concerns will be the legal issues and adoption procedures but the pay out is endless and much worth the battle.

Either domestic adoption, international adoption or applying for being a foster home; your parenting skills can be of great value and appreciation to and orphan or displaced child deserving of more than a cold dorm or dangerous street.

You were placed here for more than acquiring personal pleasure and this empty feeling is a call from the other side to accept this karmic lesson. That which is given needs to be repaid.

It is easy to cherish a child of your own blood, but for those that are called to give of themselves for the sake of another has karmas blessing.

The infant, child or teens birth mother for what ever reason was unable to give them more than life, and either for the good of the child or causes not in her control she has given you a chance to profit.

It is more then what you can give him or her, but you will soon see that this child has more to offer you than you had ever imagined.

I have heard so many as, “well what if I pick a bad one or they have emotional issues?” It doesn’t take me being a psychic to see the path that is available without the stability of a loving home is racked with emotional issues and without your influences that is what will make a child bad.

Growing up like most Christians I was taught the importance of tithing, the percentage of income the church expects to be given or put in a charity as an offer to god in thanksgiving for what you have received.

But I challenge all religions to acknowledge that a tithe doesn’t have to be monitory, and doesn’t have be to be given but rather taken in, to accept and receive a burden or task in gods name is more of a gift to the creator than any amount of money.

Give of yourself…. So that others can prosper and also be able to give.

Caring for Elderly Aging Parents

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So many different challenges, trials and tribulations seem unending and just as your life seems to settle, the children leave home to start families of their own, and a better sense of stability and calm enters your life, you may have even decided now is a good time to enjoy your later years and do some traveling.

Trouble enters through another door. Your parents are aging and needs your help, time and care giving services. It seems like an unnecessary challenge I know, but as a said so many times before “everything happens for a reason” both you and your aging parents are learning a life lesson needed to pass to a higher conscience.

You are learning how to care for someone that only represents a shadow of the person they once were. Alzheimer care is a good example of this gift.

Dementia also steals an elderly parent’s ability to care for themselves, so whether you decide home care for your senior or a nursing home the responsibility doesn’t stop with just providing.

Caring for the elderly consists of compassion, understanding and time spent daily. Even if it is just being there sitting next to them so they do not feel alone.

The lesson that your aging parents are learning is one of acceptance and it is not an easy one to pass. They have spent their entire life being independent and the one that others relied on. You may have already noticed their defiance to you helping or talking about a nursing home.

They just simple are not ready to let go…. The only way you can assist them is by being there and not taking charge and being the one in control.

It will fix nothing to expect that your loved one will do things your way; this is not your life. In the end you will feel the pains of war and only be on the receiving end of their frustrations.

In hospice care we also are being given the chance to prepare for the end. An experience most are unable to accept with an instant death.

Long term care makes it possible to mentally acknowledge that things change and when our parents do pass away it gives you the opportunity to not just prepare for those changes but also feel a sense of closure and knowing that you did all you could, spent all the time, and helped them like they once took care of you.

It’s like parenting your parents. Life has come full circle.

Having Children

having-children-parenting

Children or no children that’s the real question. There I said it!

Yes you love each other and there is a time when couples ask, should we talk about having children now, maybe you just found out you are pregnant or you just had a child and wonder if you are going to be a good parent.

No one can answer that question for you. Unfortunately there is no parenting certificate that can certify that you will be a good parent and no license issued by the state, but one thing is for sure, it is a learning experience like none other.

Making a choice to share your life, income, future and personal space with another little person is usually not what comes to mind when deciding to have children; most do not consider cost and few contemplate inconvenience in the equation.

Good news though, you will live, your parents and ancestors all did, you are living proof. I insist that although some very close-minded selfish people have regretted having children instead of spending that effort on their career, that more often what is heard is women and men past their prime reflecting on their fruitless lives without children, wondering if their life could have meant more.

Having children is a life time commitment that changes as both you and child grow, transforming seamlessly from caregiver/teacher/guardian to later pier/ friend/ support.

So many parenting magazines, books, and videos and so little time to educate yourself. By the time you feel you are knowledgeable enough on all the new parenting techniques and almost college like psychology classes needed to be confidant enough to raise a child. Your children will be having children of their own.

I am not suggesting that you not take parenting classes or read a book, but what I am saying is do not loose sight of the real reason you had decided to bear children in the first place…

Love, unconditional and never regretting, this little example of you is learning to be an individual that you help to mold, imprinting on you and your culture, heritage, traditions and ways of life.

One day they will be doing the same thing you are doing now. Questioning if they are ready to be parents and are they prepared for the challenge ahead.