Abusive relationships

[ad#ad-1]abusive relationshipsAbuse has no excuses, and other than the life lesson learned from being taught to stand up for your self. I really have no tolerance for it.

I read in peoples eyes before they speak.. Almost screaming to me “Help”, but most battered women and men are so good at hiding their embarrassment from the outside world, they often can not even admit to a friend or family member let alone a psychic that they are being beaten by the very person that says they love them.

The signs of abuse are covered so well.

Abuse comes in so many different phases and levels, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual. Physical said to be the most damaging because of fatalities.

I beg to different, mental abuse is far more damaging, and while the outward signs of being battered will heal and fade in time (if you live), emotional abuse can last a lifetime and spread through generations.

I see too often people coming to me for advice on “how to better my relationship”, thinking that in some way they are responsible for being abused and I will say time and time again there is never an excuse to hit anyone. No matter what a person does or says. No matter who raised you.

Example: A wife cheats… then she wasn’t a good wife and more than likely will never be a good wife with or without a beating (time to move on)

Are you angry? Yes. Does it suck that you are out all this time and effort spent on a woman that is not worth it? Yes.

Will it help if you showed her your anger? No. She just doesn’t fit in your puzzle and that doesn’t make her any less a person just not what you need.

Another example: A woman works everyday because her husband has been laid off. She is angry because he will not find another job or at least do something around the house, perhaps he even suffers from depression and just mopes, it is still no reason that this will be solved through physical assault.

No amount of kick in the butt is going to help a person out of depression or be assertive. Confront and tell him your feelings and you may even give an ultimatum. But never raise your hands or voice.

Note to the abusive: Understand that the decisions you make today will follow you throughout your life. Karma is a wonderful thing or a true bite in the butt.

And if you are one of those people that did or are considered abusive, start by apologizing. It may not remove the pain from the past but maybe if you can ask for forgiveness they can learn to forgive, and really that is what they need to do to heal.

And “she pushes my buttons” is not an excuse it is merely a show of weakness that you are so easily manipulated.

I once told an abuser “Nothing will be right with you in all your life, until you make things right by her” She left and he beat his next girlfriend into the hospital and he went to jail. Maybe Karma didn’t see he had buttons?

Note to the abused: You have made all the excuses; you have taken in all the blame. How well has that worked for you? Now it is time to see the reality.

You are worth it; they are just the one that doesn’t value you. You are a good person; they just do not want to admit they were wrong.

To get away is not failure; it is cutting your losses. This is the first day of a new plan… tell yourself “I love you” and “It is not my fault their heart is so blackened by their own lack of self value to see mine”.

Get educated, acquire a new skill, reach out to your network of close friends and get OUT! …….

Let the TAROT tell you about what to expect in the future. I can tell you the future is better then now.

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